SOS! I'm feeling anxious — what can I do?

This story was originally published on May, 18, 2023, and has been updated.

Anxiety is our body signal that we're in danger or out of alignment with our true feelings, says psychotherapist Britt Frank, author of the book The Science of Stuck.

"Imagine the state of our lives and relationships if we didn't have that little feeling inside us going, 'Don't go there! Don't do that!,' " she says. "It's awful, but we need it."

But when anxiety hits, it can be hard to remember its importance. Frank shares interventions from her book to help dial down your stress in those moments.

"None of these are going to magic your way out of a stressful environment, a difficult job or a financial situation," she says. But they can "take your brain from being on fire, where you can't think at all" to a place where you can access more choices.

1. Name things that make you feel safe

If you're feeling overwhelmed, Frank advises asking yourself, "What are some things that help me feel safer?"

It could be a person you feel comfortable around, a warm cup of tea or a TV show you love rewatching because you already know what will happen. "A lot of people will find that watching the same things or listening to the same song over and over is comforting."

Once you have your list of people or activities that make you feel safe, Frank says to pick one off the list and do it.

2. Try this grounding exercise

Name five things you can hear, taste, touch, smell or feel, says Frank. You can also try splashing your face with cold water. Frank says that smelling something strong like lavender can help too.

These strategies help activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which can allow the body to relax. "That way, the part of your brain responsible for logic and executive functioning can come back online," she says.

3. Acknowledge your physical sensations

Naming how you feel physically when anxious can help "dial down the intensity," says Frank.

For example, let's say you feel anxiety in your stomach. Frank says to notice that "your stomach feels like it's on fire and it's tight." Then, pick a part of your body that is not in active pain. "Notice your left ear is feeling neutral or nothing," she says.

Next, alternate attention between the place in your body where you feel pain and the place where you do not feel pain.

This mindfulness technique can help you tolerate or even reduce your pain, says Frank. "We're trying to help your body understand that it's not globally feeling terrible."

The audio portion of this episode was produced by Margaret Cirino and edited by Meghan Keane.

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