Dating game off? Drop your defenses (and other tips)

As the Impressive Clergyman said: “Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday.”

And if the subject is marriage, with all its inherent joys and challenges, sometimes you need help navigating the best route.

Fortunately for Seattle, Dr. John Gottman set up a “Love Lab” at the University of Washington in 1986. The goal was to research the behaviors of married couples, for better and worse. As the study progressed, to Gottman’s surprise, he and his team found they could predict with nearly 100 percent certainty which couples would stay together and which would split.

Gottman and his wife Dr. Julie Gottman have channeled what they have learned into books and workshops that help couples better understand and improve upon their marriages.

Their latest book, co-written with Doug Abrams and Rachel Carlton Abrams, is “Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love.”

The Gottmans are the co-founders of the Gottman Institute. He is professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington, she is a clinical psychologist and clinical supervisor for the "Couples Together Against Violence" study.

Town Hall Seattle presented the good doctors in conversation with KUOW’s Bill Radke at Temple De Hirsch Sinai on February 6. The event was part of their Civics series. KUOW’s Sonya Harris recorded the discussion.