When faced with a tough choice, my immigrant dad's love kept our family together

As a kid, RadioActive's Phillip Zhou didn't know much about his dad's immigration story — they never really talked about it. But that all changed recently when Phillip learned about a big choice his dad made for their family.

[RadioActive Youth Media is KUOW’s radio journalism and audio storytelling program for young people. This story was entirely youth-produced, from the writing to the audio editing.]

I

’m the son of a first-generation immigrant.

Growing up, I idolized my dad. He seemed to know everything and he never made mistakes. But as I've gotten older, I've realized that wasn't true.

My dad isn’t the type of person who talks about himself. But just because he doesn’t like to share his story doesn’t mean it’s not worth telling. This is the story of my father, Weibin Zhou.

When I was younger, my dad never told me much about the challenges he faced growing up in China and immigrating to America. He always looked on the bright side.

“I was very happy when I was young," my dad said. "I call it a golden childhood.”

In Henan, the province where he grew up, very few people even made it to high school. But my dad made it to college.

“Maybe because I was smart at that time, so I can easily handle the school homeworks or whatever," my dad said. "I was the youngest student in my school, but I always got the highest score.”

Combined with hard work and dedication, my dad passed the Gaokao, China's undergraduate admissions exam, and enrolled in university.

“After I got a Ph.D., I thought it was a good chance for me to gain more experience," he said. "So I just kind of ended up here as an immigrant.”

Even after my dad made it to the U.S. in the 2000s, his struggles were not over.

When my parents moved to Seattle, they had nothing — no home, no relatives, no one they knew — and they could barely speak English. But despite all that, my dad persevered.

To support himself and my mom, my dad worked at the University of Washington. He started going to a Chinese church to build connections with people of similar backgrounds.

“In some Christian churches, you'll feel that they are very friendly to you," he said. "And then when you talk to them, you can feel that they wanted to help you.”

Because of the support from others, my parents were able to settle down in a small apartment and have me.

But our family still had problems. Although I never noticed this when I was younger, my family was struggling financially.

As a kid, I remember when I wanted to buy Captain Crunch cereal at Safeway, but my parents said they couldn’t. They said they could only get the cereal with WIC food assistance tags.

Then my dad got a call from a renowned professor in China asking him to take over his job as a university dean.

It was a fantastic job offer. He had a tough decision to make.

“At that moment, I was so puzzled," he said. "I don't know which way I should choose: either I stay here or going back to China.”

Ultimately, my dad chose to stay in the U.S. for us.

“I promised to my wife, I just want to stay here so, no matter what, I wanted to get my family getting stronger," he said. "And raising kids up to give them as much as possible opportunities to pursue their dreams here.”

When I asked him if he ever regretted his decision, he said no. To my dad, success wasn’t just about a job or how much money he had. He valued family. He valued love.

“Love is very important," he said. "If you feel love, or you are loved by others, you will feel that you belong to the world. When you feel loved, you feel fearless, even if the world is breaking down."

Getting to know someone doesn’t happen instantly, and building strong connections with someone you love can be hard. To this day, I’m not sure if I can fully grasp the struggles my dad went through, the sacrifices he made, and the opportunities he gave up.

But, after I heard more from my dad, I not only understand him more, but I'm more thankful for the choices he made to give our family the life that we have today.

This story was produced in a RadioActive Youth Media introductory workshop for high school-age youth. Production assistance by Abigail Lee. Edited by Diana Opong. Prepared for the web by Lila Lakehart and Kelsey Kupferer.

Find RadioActive on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube and Facebook, and on the "RadioActive" podcast.

Support for KUOW's RadioActive comes from the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation Discovery Center and BECU.